Things are Starting to Change

March 25, 2013

momblogOur mother was a really amazing person. She was born early in the century to immigrant parents. She and her older sister were charged, at a very young age, to learn the ”ways of America” so they could help their parents assimilate. This was something communities did to help all the incoming citizens; the children of these immigrants had to grow up fast.

She went to college, traveled cross-country with friends, married, moved thousands of miles from home and bore 12 children. These were not things the average woman of her generation accomplished. Nothing about her was ordinary.

Having lived through the Great Depression, she could make a dollar go farther than anyone we knew. She was a strict disciplinarian and worked hard to instill in us the value of hard work. She was a lover of literature and read us the classics as bedtime stories. None of us could close our eyes after several chapters of  “Kidnapped” by Robert Louis Stevenson.

While kisses, hugs and smiles were few and far between, she did show her love and affection in the kitchen. There was always a wonderfully delicious meal on the table at night.

Then things began to change. Usually in constant motion, she began to slow down. Ingredients were forgotten when she was baking or the oven would be left on. Soon she stopped cooking, fearful of burning the meal. Her memory started to go. Sadly, she was aware of becoming more and more confused.

It was hard to watch. Our siblings all reacted differently, some going the extra mile to help her while others were in complete denial of the changes.

All of us were at loss, where do we go from here? With all the differing opinions in the family, how do we know what is best for mom? We needed guidance and support but were unsure of how to find it.

In the end, we found very good care for Mom and she was happy in her last years. We are glad about that but realize that we were lucky to find such care.

Through this website and blog, we hope we can provide some of that guidance and support we needed. Let us know your questions and concerns in dealing with your elder.


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